Not the "answer" I wanted

A quick update is in order from 2 posts ago....

We had our follow-up with the infertility clinic for my surgery a while ago. Unfortunately we were told the endometriosis was minor and may or may not have been a factor in my infertility. Why, you might ask, would I say that news is unfortunate?....well, frankly I am banking on that being the problem and hoping against hope that now that it has been removed we'll be OK. I did not like hearing that there may be some other factor we haven't even found. I know they have to say such things to save their asses because they can't be sure of anything, but still.

So, fast forward to right now...I should have my period...at least I think I should...and so far nothing. No symptoms at all of pregnancy, nor any symptoms of PMS, which I understand are the same. I allowed myself to get excited yet again, which I swore I would never do until it was a sure thing. I peed on a stick this morning and it was negative. I wasn't surprised, but was disappointed AGAIN. I really was hoping that since the endometriosis was discovered and removed that maybe I could actually get pregnant from sex with my husband like normal people do. I mean seriously, I just want to be normal...is that too much to ask??? But as it stands now we're in a holding pattern, just waiting for Aunt Flo to hurry up and get here so we can get started on our next round of injectables. Strange that I'm actually looking forward to getting my period this time just so we can get on with things. I feel like every day I'm losing time, and the recent news of another pregnancy in my circle of women doesn't help.

Pregnant Women Beware!

Why is it than when people find out you're trying to conceive, they become afraid to tell you when they are pregnant? I just had a friend from college...one of my very best friends from college and one of only 3 I've kept in touch with since...tell me via email she's 13 weeks pregnant and has been afraid to tell me. For goodness sake, I wouldn't hurt a pregnant woman....well, at least I will promise not to cause permanent damage to her or her fetus.

Seriously, 13 weeks is a long time to keep that a secret from me. I told another friend of mine the situation and she agreed, only she told me an even worse story from her experience. Her sister-in-law is expecting, and also waited a very long time to spill the beans to her brother and his wife (my friend) because she was afraid they'd get upset. That in itself is annoying, but to make matters worse, since it was within a family circle, not only did she NOT tell them, she told everybody else within the family not to tell them, making my friend look like an unstable psycho to her entire in-law family. Who's with me on this one?

I can't blame anybody for being afraid to approach the subject, but infertile people are not going to attack those who are having better luck. We are sad, we are angry, we are confused, we are disappointed and sometimes we are jealous...but those feelings aren't directed at other individuals necessarily, they're directed abstractly at the universe, or at God or however you want to classify "fate".